Um, Sir?
by Aras
Summary: Everyone seems to want to bug the Potions Master today? He wants to know why. *Complete*


Severus Snape woke up at dawn. He scowled at his clock, and the clock scowled back. "You still have to get up. I don't care what face you make at me." It said.  
  
Grumbling, Snape got out of bed, and made for the bathroom. He took a shower (despite the fact that people thought of him as greasy), brushed his teeth, and put a cosmetic charm on himself. Looking his usual scary self, he left the bathroom, and picked up his usual clothing for the day. After dressing, he entered the bathroom again, put a drying charm on his hair, and combed it. He gave himself one last look over, putting a look on his face that said, "I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?"  
  
He was about to leave when his mirror called out to him. "I'd do one last inspection before you leave this morning."  
  
"Shut up!" He said, leaving the bathroom, and going down to the Great Hall for breakfast. He encountered a few students who looked at him, and immediately looked away, trying to hide themselves into the wall as they passed. 'Must have done a better job with the scowl this morning.' He thought.  
  
He entered the Great Hall, robes floating along behind him as he moved stealthily by his house table. To say that Snape was not a morning person was putting it lightly to the point that you'd float into the atmosphere and disappear into the beyond. The Slytherins especially knew their housemaster's temperament in the morning, and only spoke to him when there was no way around it, and it was an emergency. But this morning, Goyle stopped him.  
  
"Um, Sir?" He asked.  
  
Snape turned around to face the student, face set in exactly the way it had when he entered the Hall, but the look in the eyes said, "Someone had better be dying horribly!" Goyle cringed back at the look.  
  
"Well?" He snapped.  
  
"Um. . .well. . ."  
  
"Mr Goyle, spit it out now or wait until a later time in the day."  
  
"Um. . .ah. . ." Goyle continued to sputter. Snape lost his patience, and stalked away from the student, who immediately sat down before his legs gave out.  
  
"Ah. Severus." Dumbledore welcomed enthusiastically. "And how are you this fine morning?"  
  
Snape looked over at the headmaster; the only being in existence that could get away with almost anything with him. "I would be better if the morning started later, Albus."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled. "I suppose. By the way, do you find the castle rather drafty today?" He asked.  
  
"What?" Snape asked him, not in the mood for his usual banter with the headmaster.  
  
"I just though that you might be finding the castle a bit drafty." Albus repeated.  
  
"No more than usual, Albus. If you'll excuse me." Snape stood up from the head table, picked up his coffee, and headed out the door behind the head table. He had some prep work to do for his morning class.  
  
~@~  
  
Snape stalked into the classroom of his seventh year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw class. When he approached the podium, he grabbed his attendance sheet, and turned to do a role call. As he did so, he caught the sight of Hermione Granger approaching him.  
  
"Um, Sir?"  
  
"Miss Granger. Take your seat now!" He snapped.  
  
"But Sir-"  
  
"Now, Miss Granger! And 10 points from Gryffindor."  
  
Hermione shrugged her shoulders and walked back to her seat. He noticed that Potter and Weasley were grinning like idiots, despite the fact that their house had just lost points. When they began to chuckle, he called back, "10 points from Gryffindor each for being a nuisance in my class. What is so amusing?" He asked.  
  
Both students began to cough, and took the expressions off their faces. "Nothing, Professor." Harry said.  
  
"Potter, you, as all your fellow housemates are, are a terrible liar. Now, what is so amusing?" Snape drawled.  
  
They remained silent, looking like they were going to begin laughing again. He sighed, exasperated. "10 more points each from Gryffindor, and detention with Filch tonight. When I ask you a question, I expect it to be answered."  
  
The two boys stopped trying to hide their laughter, and stared at their work desk.  
  
As he completed role call, he noticed a few of the girls with a slight blush. He chose to ignore it. 'Damn teenage girls. Silly and emotional as hell!' He thought irritably.  
  
He began his lecture, noticing that the students did not appear to be as attentive as usual. In fact, they even appeared to be trying to push down smiles as the class continued. 'What the hell is wrong with everyone today?' He thought to himself. He gave the instructions for the enlargement potion they were to brew, noticing that many of the students were having trouble keeping themselves in check.  
  
"And any more of that nonsense, and it will be 20 points from each of you." He growled. "Begin."  
  
The brewing began with almost no incident, and many of the students were quiet. Snape sat himself down behind his desk to begin grading some third year papers. About an hour before the end of class, the papers had been marked, and Snape began to stalk around the room, noticing that many of the students as he passed had begun to lean away from him. It was a very small movement, so his eyes could have been deceiving him, but he wasn't sure. Soon, he heard the unmistakable sound of a caldron melting.  
  
"Mr Longbottom. Must you ensure that the tuition that your family pays for you to attend here all go to the replacement of your caldrons?" He said, advancing on the boy. Neville jumped back a little more than he usually did.  
  
"Um. . .ah. . .sir?" He said.  
  
"30 points from Gryffindor. Clean up this mess. Now!" He said. Neville went straight to work. The end of the class came, the mess was cleaned, the potions were tested (with many red faces present), and the last student had left his class. He wasn't entirely sure, but he thought he heard the many of the students laughing as they left his classroom.  
  
Snape stalked to his office. He decided that he would take lunch there, and avoid the crowd in the Great Hall. He passed Madam Hooch, who said, "Hey Severus, did you see that soldier sitting on his duffle bags?"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" He said.  
  
"Well, if you do," She continued, "Make sure he doesn't spit on anyone." She continued walking down the hall, ignoring the annoyed look on the potions master's face.  
  
"Teenage girls turn to women." He muttered. "And women can be worse." He shut the door to his office, waiting for the house elf to bring him his lunch. Dobby arrived a few minutes later while Snape was checking some of the books on his shelves.  
  
"Ah, Professor Snape, sir." Dobby said. "Dobby brings you good lunch."  
  
"Just set it on the desk." He responded.  
  
"Yes, sir." Dobby said as he placed the tray there, thinking of something that Harry had told him. "Can Dobby ask Professor a question?"  
  
"I suppose." Snape said, looking over a reference as he walked back to his desk.  
  
"Can Professor tell Dobby the last three letters of the alphabet?"  
  
Snape looked at him impatiently. "XYZ, Dobby. Now leave."  
  
"Ah, yes sir. XYZ. Thank you, sir." Dobby said.  
  
Snape paid the elf no mind.  
  
"Sir?" Dobby asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"XYZ." He said.  
  
"Leave!" Snape snapped, and the house elf vanished. 'Merlin. Even the bloody house elves are odd today.'  
  
He finished looking up the reference he wanted, and went back to the potions classroom. He now had the fourth year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins. These students, despite the fact that half came from his own house, were scared witless of him. They couldn't even look up during the lecture. Still, a few of them had cheeks that were a bit more red than usual. 'Must be something going around.' He thought.  
  
His second class of the day finished, and the last student had left. It was than that the new Muggle Studies Professor entered the room. "Professor Snape." She greeted.  
  
"Professor Step." Snape greeted back. She was all right company. A bit of a sharp wit, and she spoke her mind. Easy to get along with, intelligent, and almost able to keep up with him in potions. He was surprised that her husband was such a. . .Longbottom type. "To what do I owe your presence?"  
  
"Just something that I failed to notice at breakfast, but the Headmaster mentioned it to me after my morning class. I wouldn't have bothered you if Madam Hooch didn't say anything herself." Professor Step said.  
  
"Why have all you people been acting unusual all morning. First one of my students from my house approaches me in the morning, when you already know that they don't, than my classes blush and giggle, and the house elves won't leave me the bloody alone. Can you enlighten me on this?" He said.  
  
"I believe I can." She responded.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Professor?"  
  
"For Merlin's sake, what?" He snapped.  
  
"Your zipper's down."  
  
~@~END~@~ 


End file.
